Wow, it's only a couple days away.

i guess i'm getting real nervous to start the marathon. It's a truly excitement type of nervous energy. Nothing new to marathoners, but new to first timers.

i'm sure i'll finish. Confidence is everything at this point.

It's more like a nervousness of a teenager looking to lose their virginity.

"what'll happen?"
"will i be forever changed?"
"how long will it go?"

More than likely the first marathon will take longer than the act of losing ones virginity.

Hell, the walk from my office to the copy machine takes longer than that act.

And quite honestly, i probably spent the more time training to lose my virginity than i have for the marathon. but that's another issue.

Anyway, i've read that many marathoners experience a brief depression after euphoria of completeing the run. i'm trying to avoid that by downplaying my excitement at this point.

i think that denying myself to feel great, about what i have done so far, has been a mistake.

i have a dear friend who has been prescribed mood levelers for the past few years. i never equated the negative aspect to them. As long as he didn't get real depressed, and potentially do harm to himself, i was happy for him.

We had a brief conversation about a year back and he explained how the down side to mood levelers was that he didn't get to experience the enjoyment while on them. Life on a even keel meant no extreme low moments, but also no extreme high moments of excitement.

How sad. This moment of clarity, and i understood, or emphasized with his ordeal.

Today, i realize, i have done this to my marathon experience. Now this was another moment of clarity, but no more!!!

i'll risk the depression. i know it may come. i am fore-armed for it. bring it!!!

i refuse to let my fears affect my happiness.

This is one of the largest, most prestigous, marathons in the world. i'm thrilled to no end to have the chance to run in it.

i am so glad to have met other runners online, at all levels of support and experience.

i am so thrilled to have the support of my wife, kids , our family, our friends, the lists is too long, but even friends i hadn't seen in years at my reunion offered encouraging words. And these were people that had never seen me when i was waaayy heavy.

So, Lisa, i'm with you. i'm gonna throw my name on my shirt. i welcome the encouraging words of absolute strangers while i run. i'm ready to let my thoughts be consumed with the big run.

i will run strong, finish stronger, and emerge a changed man. a finisher.

Last training run:

yesterday was 3.25 miles. This is the last run as the final two are technically jogs. 23 minutes, fastest time ever. but i refused to slow down cause i wanted to experience pushing through pain.

Chicago...bring it!!!

So today i'm putting in my number one song video to run to.

Heck nobody, really watches the video, it's just a toy for me to play with....

Sorta like training to lose one's virginity....

Thanks for reading.