"Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson US essayist & poet (1803 - 1882)

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

What we've got here is.... failure to communicate....

Well, let me say the running without a GPS for the past few days has been enlightening. Now, i will be returning to the GPS soon enough. But being injured, and i think being able to start running again, i am having a better time listening to the clues ones body gives them, when not having these bodily clues argue with a per mile pace.

i have decided to streak for a few days. Meaning that since i am doing a lot less miles at a time, i'm going consecative days now. Yes, i am sure i need more rest but...i've put on about 8 lbs through this, and the reality of hitting 200 lbs is a benchmark i am looking to avoid. Weird thing is i can actually feel the added weight.

Not that failing to communicate has anything to do with my running blog, but actually to yet another disappointment in the incredible saga of realizing how a man can ignore the son he choose to adopt 30 some years ago.

Yep, this is a fatherly-son vent. As i have stated before, sometimes i need to remind my father he has a son. i guess i needed to do this last Saturday. Let me set the stage.....

At my Grandmothers 90th birthday party, the summer version for those of us unavailable to go to Florida back in April, my father had the nerve to tell me i do not call my grandmother enough. Now my anger could be an indication that he hit a nerve with me that i realize i don't call her enough. This may be true and coming from anyone else....i would have listened, but for Christ sake...

My grandmother's 90 birthday was in April. i could not make the party in Florida. So i called her the next day, knowing everyone would be gone and without calling the day of said party, we would be able to enjoy a lengthy pleasant conversation.

Which my grandmother and i did. Which even included an explanation from me as to why i did not call during the party. She was busy with other family and i thought it rude to call the day of. Plus being 90, i figured she would be exhausted the day of the party.

Anyway, back in April my sister tried to lecture me that i didn't call. Cause she had left the morning of the day i called and was unaware that i did call. Since my father left the same morning, he too, did not know that i had called. But he decided to wait until the next time we spoke, yep, almost 4 months later, to lecture me that i do not call my only grandmother enough.

Now being the spiteful man i am, i always call my father on his birthday to wish him a happy birthday. Sometimes i send a card. Sometimes i even use the excuse to ride my motorcycle. It's only an hour away. And visit for a few hours.

Apparantly, from my fathers perspective, i made him look back by not calling. Cause, she received a lot of calls that day. Which in hindsite i should have lied and said that i had tried but the line was busy.

So when i lambasted my father in a quiet-yet very stern manner that his argument held no water coming from him. That he couldn't pick the last time he had called me to wish me a happy birthday, and i could tell him all the most previous dates i had called him. That he hasn't bothered to speak with or try to see his grandchildren since December 23. That even though we only live one hour away, they never have been over to our house for a family dinner, because i got tired of asking and being told they couldn't attend because of church functions. Very Christ-like eh????

Please let me vent more, whose blog is it???

My father had no idea i have changed jobs. i had the opportunity to tell him of the change when i called him prior to the Bayshore, but figured why bother. i didn't need the lecture about changing jobs in addition to being told he wouldn't be in Traverse that weekend. i was hoping he would be in Traverse that day and might like to attend. i guess thinking he might call after the race to see how i did was hoping for too much. Hell, my sister lives there and she couldn't bother to attend, but she did offer to let me drive the 20 plus miles out to her house from the Bayshore to visit.

Another little vent, even though my sister knows i write a little blog, and Fun Guv has the link on her email signature, my sister has never read a post.

i wonder if my father thinks i don't call enough, where the hell he thinks i learned it from.--- " 'Cause the new jobs a hassle, and the kids got the flu but it was sure nice talking with you, dad"

Am i the father or son in this song??? At least, the dad in this song called once.

Thanks for reading, my self therapy, sorry if it's a little dis-jointed.


L*I*S*A said...

Vent anytime.

I'll always listen.

Gknee said...

cathartic...isn't it.

Nitmos said...

Ugh. Who hasn't heard the "you don't call your (insert relative's name here) enough" speech before. I always remind that person that, in my area, the phone lines go both ways.

After that, you'll probably feel much lighter on your runs!!

Animal said...

May we BOTH be the fathers we wanted, You're already well on your way.