Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.
-T.S. Eliot

i love this quote. It's by one of my favorite poets. i've struggled many times to read and understand "The Wasteland" mostly unsuccessfully. J Alfred Prufrock is a favorite poetic character of mine but my all-time favorite poem is....


DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

-Dylan Thomas

i also enjoy some Robert Frost poems, and since his home is located at Greenfield Village, it's one of my favorite spots to visit when we go.http://www.thehenryford.com

Anyway back to my point. If there is one. i've got a friend who is a competitive runner going to run the Chicago Marathon. He just emailed me to ask if it was the same one i'm training for. Since it is, i'm kinda excited cause it will be his first marathon. He's been running for years and won divisions in shorter races but we'll be popping our marathon cherry together.

Via email, i asked him to join me at the 1/2 marathon this weekend. He had to bow out cause his never ran farther then 8 miles and didn't feel ready. What an inspiration to me. This weekend coming up only frightens me due to it's length, but the risk is inspires me.

Strange thoughts occurred to me on Monday's short, HA!!, run. i went about 4 miles and felt so good i went real fast for me. It ended up being about 8 minute miles. For whatever reason, as i ran i started contemplating the ACS relay for life, which i am locally involved with. Which led to my thoughts about all the people i know who have affected by cancer!!!

As i got angry and ran faster and faster. As i ran faster and faster i became more angry. An amazing vicious circle. i ran as if i was determined to physically force my emotions out through sheer exertion.

i raged against the dying of the light

1/2 marathon t-minus 6 days and counting...

Now it's getting serious. i gotta admit to a strange dream that resulted in my feeling bad about this weeks, oh gawd this weeks, upcoming 1/2 marathon. Since this is my first organized run i'm feeling pretty good about things and a little healthy nervousness.

So i wake up Friday morning with a sense of dread that i'll show up Saturday morning, for the run, and be the most out-of-shape person there!!! What a sense of dread. i'll be thoroughly embarrassed by my inability to finish. Despair had set it and i was ready to quit right then.

Then reality set in. Maybe i will be the most out-of shape person there. Maybe i'll be dead last, but y'know what??? i'll finish. It may be ugly but i'll finish.

Now here's reality. Saturday at noon, i set out on my last long run in preparation for the 1/2er. While stretching, i envision the distance i intend to run and internalize the way i'll feel at different moments and distances through the run. Then i set out.

It was raining and snowing at different moments and i began the first 1 1/2 mile into the wind. At the 2 mile point my mp3 loses its juice and the rest of the way i am tuneless. Real bummer but i learn to deal with it.

Miles 4, 5 & 6 are in an area where i have never been through and are a little entertaining. Mile 5, i actually leave my zip code for a little while. Mile 7 is back in familiar territory, part of my normal route and the rest of the way is familiar.

Mile 8 and i begin to realize my internalization and my meditation as i feel exactly as i had thought i would. it's still raining but i don't care. Although there are many moments i have slowed my pace, and increased it depending on my feelings, i have not yet broken stride and walked yet. i'm starting to think i won't need too.

Mile 9 feels like home and i'm so close now that i decide to pick up the pace. i don't run with a watch so i have no idea how long it's been. And with no music i can't guestimate a time based on the number of tunes. 2 hrs, i keep thinking, 2 hrs and i'll be in good shape for the 1/2 er. Finish strong, finish strong, 2 hrs, i hope it hasn't been two hrs yet.

The last 3/4 of mile ten is back in the wind. Just like i started but 10 miles, holy cow 10 miles, later. i'm feeling tired but still strong. i've got more juice left, so i put the hammer down and kick as fast and hard as i can for the final 1/2 mile.

Mile 10.22, home again. What a feeling i did it and i feel great as i continue to run into the yard and into the house to catch a glimpse of my oven clock to see my time.

1 hr and 51 minutes.

i'm ready!!!

more to come

What happened?? My bracket is not even worth the paper it's printed on at this point.

I guess nothing to do now but root for Wichita St. Goooo Missouri Valley Conference!!! whatever your mascot is.

Wait a moment, Wichita State's mascot is a derogatory native american reference.

Damn

Not too much has happened to write about.

Well, it's been a slow week. What can i say. After all the running around and hectic St Patrick's day weekend, i've just been playing catch-up with household projects and keeping work in line.

Not sure if playing X-box with Jimmy counts as a household project, but hey, i need to spend some quality time with the kids.

Jimmy's new hot game has been his Star Wars Lego game for X-box. What a riot to play or just watch him work through the different levels. We just finished the duel with Lego Darth Maul and Espisode 1. Now on to bigger things in Episode 2. I should probably rent some of these movies so Jimmy can actually watch them, but for now he seems to enjoy the concept of the game.

Small thought, but my wife sent me this link to a national columnists' article;http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2006603110312

It's written by Leonard Pitts, Jr. entitled "Dear Anti-Gay Bible Literalists: Turn the page on your Outrage." i gotta say that, being a liberal, this is a topic which i always seem to fall in the minority. i tend to view gay marriage as "why not?" It doesn't affect me and i believe same-sex marriage will happen.

i don't really understand the so-called "sanctity of marriage" when marriage has evolved so much over the years. Marriages were one time arranged, polygamy was encouraged, other arrangements have always changed the way marriage is viewed. It has even been used to stop wars and unite groups of people. This doesn't even begin to address relatively recent public thought and the legality of blacks and white marrying.

i once watched the movie "Guess who's comming to Dinner?" with my folks when i was in high school. i was oblivious to the social implications from when the movie was produced in the 60's. My folks, gotta love them, openly discussed how the movie was perceived at the time. That it helped open people's eyes to an unpopular concept. Maybe a proper remake should be done with a gay couple??

Anyway, back to running. i've registered for my first organized run. It's a 1/2 marathon on April 1st. i'm so excited and nervous, and i'm trying to keep in mind my only goal is to finish. my competitive nature may begin to over-rule. i hope not.

'till next time

This is what happens when somebody lets me use their computer to update my blog.

Chances are fairly in favor of me looking through your pictures and finding a picture of your wife singing kareoke at New Years. Odds are also good that not only will i look through all your photos, trying to find that one "c'mon honey, pose nude, it's a digital, no one will ever see the picture but us" picture.

Of course, if that picture just doesn't seem to exist, or is better hidden, then i'm still gonna post your wife singing on the blog.

This is Animals wife Tess, reluctantly singing at our new years eve party, not really singing on the blog, as previously, mistakenly stated. i couldn't resist this picture cause she's so darn cute. Anyway i spent some time with Animal and Tess for St Patrick's day. It was a great time walking to their little downtown area and bar-hopping meeting people in the town and behaving goofily.

The only negative to St Patrick's day was that I broke my personal rule about never drinking Jagermeister more than 50 feet from my home. Oops. On the plus side, i was able to drink my lunch, Guiness, at a irish pub near my office. Do some work around the office, if you count napping as work, drive to St John's and enjoy a second good buzz of the day with great friends.

Note to anyone looking to lose weight real fast. Try this, but i'm not recommending it:

i went for my longest run ever on Sunday morning, 8.5 miles. Piece of cake, right? After all, i'd been consistently running 6.5 or more for the last week. One little problem, Saturday morning i had breakfast with Animal. It was a sausage, cheese omelet, with a side of bacon. Then, i ate nothing else until 11:30 Sunday morning when i began the run.

Oh my Gawd!!! What a painful mistake this was. It took me an hour and a half to finish. i felt like the walking dead the last mile and a half. i've never been so happy to finsh a run. On the plus side, i did the run. If i had eaten some food and put a few carbs in my system in would have been easier. My time could have been a little better.

Another plus, I no longer own a belt that actually holds up my pants. I need to punch a hole in the belt actually make it tight. My total weight loss is now over 35 lbs from mid-January and the last time my weight was this low was 17 years ago.

In another Talking Heads reference. I feel like David Byrne in the big suit from "Stop Making Sense". i'm swimming in my clothes.

Anyway, more to follow, if i have another thought.

i hit a car yesterday!!!

Actually, i punched the window of a car at an intersection as i was running. Here's the deal:

i'm making my way through an intersection. i'm two or three gaits through it and the approaching car must have seen me. i admit it was about 7:45 pm and a little dark but the intersection is lit.

The yahoo driving decides to hit the gas and swerve around me, to i guess avoid the stop sign, and make his right hand turn. As the car passed about a foot from me; first i realized to stop quickly, second i was really ticked off, so third i punched the passenger window as hard as i could, and fourth i internally debated falling back and acting hurt to see if the driver would stop to see if i was o.k., so that fifth, i could pummel him.

Fortunately, fourth and fifth on the list never happened. i didn't feign being hurt and, of course, the car sped off as if nothing happened. Also it was chilly last night so i was wearing winter gloves and my hand wasn't hurt.

It's funny, peculiar not ha-ha, and upsetting cause i live in a nice little suburban area, where there are a lot of runners and kids playing in the streets. The runners don't really play in the streets just the kids.

Anyway, speaking of other runners, last night i was able to run with another person for the first time. Not really intentional, but a woman who had passed going opposite directions a couple days ago, passed me going the same direction yesterday. It was during about a mile & half stretch that circles around a cemetery. Since she was moving at a good clip, i decided to see if i could meet her pace until she decided to go in another direction. It was tough but i kept pace, from about 10 paces back to not make her nervous about a stranger being there, but also close enough so that a woman wouldn't need to feel nervous about someone else jumping her.

Eventually, she turned around and headed back said "bye" as she passed. i also thanked her for setting a good pace and said bye as well. When i completed my 6.45 mile run, an entire minute per mile had been erased from my time and i had made it in 51 minutes per the clock on the oven.

So i guess this post is really to thank the woman who set the pace that really pushed me, and showed me that i can run it a group, and improve my time. i soooo look forward to my first race!!

L8R

Welcome back.

Not too much new today but i thought it was appropriate to display a before picture. A little bit fatter, about 25 lbs here, a little bit hairier, and a lot drunker.

This picture was taken at the 6th annual 30th birthday party. An annual tradition in the household, named by my friend Steve. as a very sad side note, Steve passed away a few months after this picture was taken. My wife and I decided to keep the name to remember him as long as it is feasible to keep the number 30 in comparison to my appearance.

*** another sad note, not as sad, is that my wife feels that based upon my last statement, we should change the name of the party.

Anyway, quick note on running. I ran with no destination or restraint yesterday. It was in the fifties when i started, so i ran in shorts for the first time this year. felt awesome. i believe i finally experienced the runner's high. Eventually, i had to make a decision to either keep going or go home, to avoid being a neglectful husband and father. When i made it home only an hour had passed, and i ran the entire time. Minus one stop for a traffic light at a busy intersection. I admit to being excited when my wife and i pulled up an online pedometer to see how far i had ran. 6.45 miles!!! Almost 6 1/2 miles in one hour. What an unbelievable rush!!!

more to follow...

what the heck, thought i would add a picture to the post and see how it looks on the internet. My wife decided to take this picture after i received the shortest haircut of my life and since i had just recently lost 30 lbs, i thought it was time to shave of the goattee and see if i was truly visably thinner.

guess i am, but still have about twenty lbs to go. which brings me up to the first thing today. RUNNING. Yea haa... ran for 7.50 miles yesterday. a personal best. it should have been a little longer but i made a wrong turn through a neighborhood i wasn't too familar with. hey, it only cost a half mile, no biggie. i did make good time for an out of shape guy, i think. 7.5 mikes if 73 minutes. i honestly allotted two hours for the ordeal, so i ended early with extra time at home.

Heres another random thought: went to the piston/bulls game on wednesday, and took the whole famn dam. we had a great time and the pistons won. one minor problem kind of bugged me. i'm not sure why "God Bless America, ("GBA")" serves as a replacement to the national anthem. i'm not really a patriotic zealot, new military haircut notwithstanding, but as i stood when everyone was asked to stand, it occurred to me that why am i standing? i wasn't sure because GBA is yes, patriotic, but it's not the anthem, so why stand? would i stand to honor the flag if Lee Greenwood was singing his stupid "proud to be an american" song? i don't really think so. not to mention it's an annoys me. i enjoy the song "This Land is Your Land" or Woody Guthrie's modern-day equivilant Springsteen, and "Land of Hope and Dreams" is also a greatly patriotic song but not appropriate. so what makes GBA any more meaningful to use? just a random thought.

more to come

thanks to anyone who happens to stumble upon my blog. It started innocently enough as i was responding to a blog from a friend, who i am running a marathon with, regarding how she is writing a blog to document the training for said marathon. (Actually, it's the chicago one on Oct 22) I ended up creating a blog to respond.

So what the hell? let's give a go and if anyone ever looks at this great. If not then o.k. too. It's sorta like a internet keroeke... kariokkee... kareoke.. for all the unpublished writers and most likely a few published writers to just babble.

Which brings me to my point, or close enough to something to call it a point. Random thoughts, babble, just junk and maybe not some junk will be my topic du jour, or du bi-weekly, du whenever. etc.

'till next time