"Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson US essayist & poet (1803 - 1882)

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Garmin 305 update:

Well, it went for a little 5 miler yesterday evening and i gotta admit to loving the new tool. i haven't done anything with the HR moniter yet, but the stats provided were totally helpful.

As i use it more, i can see it really being the perfect tool to hit my goals for the year. Now, it's all on me.

Needless to say, thanks to Fun Guv for the guest post after Christmas for the stock photo of the new Garmin. i really do have the best in-laws in the world.

It was a complete surprise. Even Fun Guv had no idea.

I had been looking for a used 201 on ebay.

Rarely does a gift emotionally touch me. Christmas itself has been a difficult time for me since my mother passed away.

Since the blog is a journal of my thoughts, i thought i would try to type why Christmas is hard in this post. Plus if you are still reading beyond my running update, you must be friend and i enjoy sharing... maybe it's therapy??

My mother, Jewell, was diagnosed with a rare skin cancer late 90's. Merkel Cell Cancer. It strikes mostly fair-skinned and red-headed people, of which, Jewell was both. Typically, on the shoulders and higher. It is/was hard to diagnose early because the growths begin under the skin, spread like a stawberries, and then poke through the surface. Initially, like pimples, except keep growing.

Another link

Anyway, eventually, hospice took over and Mom was sent home to try to enjoy her final weeks. I get that all cancer is bad. There is no worse diagnosis for anyone. And i am glad for friends and family who have battled their cancer successfully. But unlike many cancers, Merkel Cell is extremely visable, and as it grew, overtaking mom's face, to the point one eye swelled shut, she became a shut in, embarrassed to leave the home due to her appearance.

Christmas Eve 1999, we had our last family Christmas together. My sister and i, see dumb video from my dad's Christmas two posts ago, stayed at Mom's that night with spouses, and at that time, one kid each. Christmas morning we exchanged gifts. btw...we gave mom a new robe she never got to wear and a batch of homemade chocolate chipcookies, she ate those. Mom started to get a headache and to his credit, her oncologists came out to see her. He was prepping us for an extreme turn and offered to give Mom something for the pain.

She refused cause she didn't want to be a zombie on her last Chrismas. How's that for gumption?? It was fairly shortlived though... Soon after the Dr's visit, Mom went to bed to rest and never left the bed again.

Mom's body held on for a couple days after that. The hospice workers were great. My bank made me go back to work in Detroit, 'cause of the Y2K panic. So i received a call from my Aunt Jane that Mom was gone.

Anyway, oddly enough, Dec 31st 1999, the biggest party in a millenium, where was i? Funeral. Me, ...Mr. Biiiiiig Party.... Belushi-esque in reputation....

Anyway, since then, Christmas, is always the day i remember as my mothers last day. i put on a good show for the kids, i mean c'mon it's still Christmas. But it's never been the same.

This Christmas was little different though... more on that next... and not 'cause of the Garmin either.

but for now...

thanks for reading


George, Group Admin said...

Very sorry to hear about your mother, especially as I am a survivor of merkel cell cancer. I have survived about 16 months now. At the time of my diagnosis I found it almost impossible to locate any other survivors of this rare cancer and at the time would not give up on the idea of helping others that may have to deal with this in the future. As a result I created a discussion group for merkel cell cancer survivors and patients along with those supporting others with MCC. Although it has been some time since your mother passed away, the work to keep this from taking other's lives will continue. Please take a moment to stop by the group and read some of the 100 or so member's postings, also have some material under the files and pages section that will hopefully help others.

Group Admin & MCC Survivor


Animal said...

Thinkin' of you, bro. Love you. See you after Akumal.